Sarinah, a remarkable individual whose story underscores the profound impact of people-pleasing behaviors and the transformative power of healing. Sarinah's journey was marked by years of struggle with people-pleasing tendencies, which were deeply rooted in her experiences of abuse. Today, her story serves as a beacon of hope for many who find themselves in similar situations.

Sarinah's Story: A Journey Through Pain and Transformation

Sarinah grew up in a household where approval was as scarce as it was coveted. Her parents, often preoccupied with their own issues, left her feeling invisible unless she was performing to their expectations. This early environment planted the seeds of her people-pleasing behavior. As a child, Sarinah learned that the way to earn love and attention was through constant compliance and self-sacrifice.

As Sarinah entered adulthood, her patterns of behavior became more pronounced. In relationships and at work, she found herself bending over backward to meet others' needs, often at the expense of her own well-being. She was the quintessential "yes person," always agreeing to additional responsibilities, even when it overwhelmed her. Her fear of rejection and desire for validation made it almost impossible for her to set boundaries.

The turning point came during a particularly difficult period in her life when she entered into an emotionally abusive relationship. Her partner’s manipulation and control only deepened Sarinah’s ingrained habit of people-pleasing. The cycle seemed never-ending until she hit rock bottom—emotionally exhausted, physically drained, and feeling utterly lost.

The Path to Healing

Realizing she needed help was the first step towards Sarinah's healing. She began attending therapy, where she explored the roots of her people-pleasing behavior and the abuse that had reinforced it. Through this process, she learned that her worth was not dependent on others' approval, and she started to understand the importance of self-care and healthy boundaries.

Sarinah’s therapeutic journey was neither quick nor easy, but it was profoundly transformative. Here are some key strategies that helped her break free from her people-pleasing habits and move towards a healthier, more balanced life:

1. Self-Awareness and Reflection

Sarinah learned to recognize her triggers and patterns of people-pleasing. Journaling became a powerful tool for her to reflect on her thoughts and feelings. Understanding the origins of her behavior allowed her to challenge and reframe these patterns.

2. Setting Healthy Boundaries

One of the most significant changes Sarinah made was learning to set and enforce boundaries. She started small by saying "no" to minor requests that previously would have been met with automatic compliance. Over time, she gained confidence and found her voice in situations that required more assertiveness.

3. Self-Compassion

Developing self-compassion was crucial for Sarinah. She began to treat herself with the same kindness and understanding that she would offer a friend. Recognizing her own needs and validating her feelings helped her to rebuild her self-esteem.

4. Building a Support System

Surrounding herself with supportive, non-judgmental friends and family members was instrumental in Sarinah’s healing process. These relationships provided a positive contrast to her past experiences and reinforced her sense of self-worth.

5. Seeking Professional Help

Regular therapy sessions helped Sarinah navigate her complex emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Her therapist provided guidance on managing her people-pleasing tendencies and reinforcing positive changes.

Embracing a New Beginning

Today, Sarinah is a testament to the power of resilience and personal growth. She has transformed from a woman whose self-worth was dictated by others’ approval to someone who prioritizes her own needs and maintains healthy relationships. Her journey underscores that breaking free from people-pleasing habits is not only possible but also incredibly rewarding.

If you find yourself struggling with people-pleasing behaviors or the aftermath of abuse, remember that change is attainable. Seeking help, building self-awareness, and practicing self-compassion are key steps towards reclaiming your life and embracing a healthier, more authentic version of yourself. Your journey may be challenging, but like Sarinah, you too can emerge stronger, with newfound strength and self-love.

Are you or someone you know grappling with similar challenges? Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Therapy can be a powerful tool in navigating these complex emotions and fostering positive change. Take the first step towards your own journey of healing today.

(all permissions were provided to share this story; Living 365 owns all rights to all blog postings)

This story was submitted by a former client of mine. 

"Living with bipolar disorder feels like being on a never-ending emotional rollercoaster. For years, my life swung between the extreme highs of mania and the crushing lows of depression. The unpredictability of these mood shifts made it difficult for me to maintain relationships, hold a job, or even manage my daily routines. But one of the hardest battles I fought was learning how to self-regulate my emotions.

In the manic phases, I would be filled with energy, confidence, and ideas—too many ideas. I'd talk fast, make reckless decisions, and feel invincible. But when depression hit, it was like being trapped in a deep, dark hole with no way out. I would withdraw, lose interest in everything I once enjoyed, and struggle to even get out of bed. These extremes made it feel impossible to find balance, and for years, I felt like a prisoner to my emotions.

My therapist and I worked tirelessly to build coping strategies, but one day, after yet another severe mood swing, she brought up the idea of an emotional support animal (ESA). At first, I wasn’t sure how an animal could help with my mental health. Could a pet really make that much of a difference?

Despite my doubts, I agreed to give it a try. After some research and visiting local shelters, I met Milo, a small, calm dog who immediately stole my heart. There was something about his gentle nature and unwavering companionship that felt comforting. He wasn’t judgmental, he wasn’t asking me to explain my emotions—he was just there. Present. And that presence started making a world of difference.

How Milo Helped Me Regulate My Emotions

Milo's impact on my life was immediate. He gave me a sense of routine that I desperately needed. Every morning, I had to get out of bed to feed him and take him for a walk. In those moments, even when I was feeling low, the simple task of caring for him gave me a reason to keep going. His excitement when I grabbed his leash or the way he nuzzled me when I felt down reminded me that I wasn't alone in my struggles.

During my manic phases, when my thoughts raced and I felt restless, Milo had a way of grounding me. His calm presence was a reminder to slow down, and just having him near helped me relax. His intuitive nature meant that he would sense my anxiety and lay his head on my lap as if to say, "I’m here. It’s going to be okay." It wasn’t magic, but it was real, and it was powerful.

Getting Milo Recognized as an Emotional Support Animal

The bond I had with Milo became so important that my therapist suggested we make it official by registering him as an emotional support animal. This would allow him to accompany me in places that pets normally aren’t allowed and ensure that I could live with him, even in housing situations that didn’t normally permit animals.

My therapist wrote a letter detailing how Milo’s presence directly supported my mental health, helping me manage my emotional regulation and providing a sense of stability. This letter was essential in establishing Milo’s role as an ESA, allowing me to have him by my side during difficult times.

The process was straightforward. With my therapist’s letter, I was able to submit it to my landlord and airlines to confirm Milo’s status as an emotional support animal. While ESAs aren’t the same as service animals, they are recognized for the emotional comfort they provide to people with mental health conditions.

Life with Milo: The Difference He Made

Since bringing Milo into my life, I’ve experienced fewer extreme mood swings and have found it easier to regulate my emotions. He’s not a cure—bipolar disorder is still something I live with every day—but he’s a significant part of my treatment plan. The consistency, love, and calmness he brings me have been game-changers in my ability to manage my condition.

Now, when I feel a manic episode creeping up, I know that spending some quiet time with Milo helps center me. When I’m feeling depressed, his presence gets me moving, even if it's just a short walk outside. My emotional support animal is more than a pet—he’s a lifeline in the chaos that sometimes consumes my mind.

To anyone struggling with bipolar disorder or any mental health condition, I can’t recommend enough the positive impact an emotional support animal can have. With the guidance of a compassionate therapist and the unconditional love of a pet like Milo, the journey to emotional regulation and peace becomes just a little bit more manageable.

If you’re considering an ESA, talk to your therapist. That simple conversation might just change your life—like it did mine."